Be your own wedding planner!

You're getting married! Congratulations! Whether you're planning an intimate wedding with a few loved ones or a grand celebration for hundreds of guests, chances are you're thinking, "Can I plan this myself?" The answer is 100% YES! Organizing your own wedding can not only be financially advantageous, but it also offers the opportunity to do everything exactly the way you want it. On June 8, 2024, I tied the knot with my husband Bryan. That's why, two years after our wedding, I thought it would be great to share tips with you on how you can be your own wedding planner!

1. Start with a vision

Before you start arranging the details, it's important to have a clear vision for your wedding. What kind of atmosphere do you want? Is it a romantic, boho theme, or more classic and chic? Create a mood board or collect ideas on Pinterest to get an idea of the colors, flowers, and styles that appeal to you. Also, start thinking about a wedding date that suits you. For example, our theme was colorful, which allowed us to explore many directions.

2. Set a budget and stick to it

Let's be honest: weddings cost money! And it's often a sensitive topic. So, definitely discuss this with each other. The budget is probably one of the biggest factors influencing your decisions about vendors and choices. It's very tempting to add extras, but it's important to be realistic about what you can and want to spend.

• Create a detailed budget, including everything: venue, attire, food, flowers, music, and so on.
• Don't forget unforeseen costs. The more details, the more it costs.
• Be prepared to make choices if some things are more important than others. For example, you can save on the venue and use the money for a great photographer.
• Also, know that food and drinks are a very large part of the cost. Will you feed everyone? Or will certain guests only come before or after the dessert buffet?
• Save on favors. Most guests forget them anyway — better less than too much. We still have about 30 cork stoppers with our names and wedding date left over…

3. Choose the right location

The location often determines the atmosphere of your wedding. Whether you choose a romantic garden, a stately church, a beach, or an industrial building, make sure the location fits your vision. Once you have found the location, book it for your chosen date. Then, visit the town hall to coordinate this date. We personally wanted a more intimate venue — because the larger the venue, the more people you have to invite to fill it. What we also liked about our location was that there was movement throughout the day: a welcome drink upon arrival, among the flowers for the ceremony, over a small bridge to dinner, and up a flight of stairs to the barn attic for the evening party. If your location doesn't have space for such movement, provide entertainment: a band, a saxophonist, a magician, speeches… This ensures that the party doesn't quickly become monotonous.

• Consider the seasons! If you want to get married outdoors, pay close attention to the weather during that period.
• Check if the location has the right capacity and if the facilities meet your needs (catering, parking, restrooms, etc.).
• Note: some locations allow parties until 12 AM, or only permit acoustic music. So, think carefully about what you want.

4. Secure the town hall

Once you've found a location and perhaps already booked it, it's time to coordinate it with the town hall. Think carefully about the time. Do you want a reception and lunch after the town hall? Do you prefer to sleep in or do you want plenty of time to get ready?

5. Create a daily schedule and stay organized

Wedding planning is a big task, and you'll need to coordinate many things. The most important thing is the daily schedule — once you have that, you can start booking and reserving. While creating your daily schedule, also make a to-do list right away. You will thank me later! For example, if you want a cava bar after the town hall, you would allocate an hour for it and put on your to-do list: reserve cava bar + time.

• Use a digital planner, Excel, Word, or an app. There are many wedding-specific apps nowadays that help you track deadlines, tasks, and budgets.
• If you have an iPhone, you can share notes with your future husband and tick off tasks together.
• Set a timeline for the day itself, from the moment you start your preparations to the last moment of the reception.
• Work with a detailed itinerary! Make sure everyone knows what needs to happen when, and definitely include contact details. For example, if your father-in-law needs to pick up the bridal bouquet but is half an hour late: no problem, the itinerary contains the contact details, and they will leave you alone. No stress!
• Don't overschedule your day and avoid too much traveling.
• A tip we wish we had applied better: wait just around the corner before arriving at the town hall, so all guests have already exited and are ready.
• Also, be sure to plan your transportation and clearly state it in your itinerary. For us, the transportation after the town hall wasn't in the itinerary, which resulted in them forgetting to pick us up. A funny story in retrospect — and it all worked out in the end!
• Don't forget the invitations: will you send a save-the-date? When do you want to send the invitations and in what style?

6. Vendors: selection and communication

Choosing the right vendors is crucial. Think of the photographer, the caterer, the florist, the DJ, the hairdresser, the makeup artist, and so on. For this, it's helpful if you already have a clear vision of what the celebration should look like.

Suppose you're looking for a photographer: what are your expectations? For example, we found it important that the photos were timelessly edited — not the warm sepia you often see nowadays. We wanted photos that we would still find beautiful after 20 years. Also, ensure clear communication with the florist and send as many photos as possible. Our dress code was colorful, and our invitations were in orange and purple — we definitely sent those to the florist.

• Ask for recommendations from friends, family, or through wedding websites. Good reviews are worth gold!
• Make appointments and always ensure a contract for the services provided.
• Clearly communicate your expectations and wishes. The more you share, the greater the chance of a perfect match.
• Once everything is arranged, send a confirmation email to everyone a month in advance. You never know!

7. Have a contingency plan

Sometimes, things don't go as planned — the weather doesn't cooperate, or there's a last-minute emergency. Make sure you think about alternatives beforehand, so you don't panic on the big day. Put contact details in your itinerary, so, for example, your sister can solve things while you can simply enjoy yourself.

For us, it was a big advantage that the photo booth was linked to our venue. Something always goes wrong with the photo booth at every party! Make sure there's someone nearby who knows about it. At our evening party, guests came to me with a problem — I directed them to the venue staff, and it was resolved automatically. That way, we and our family could continue to enjoy ourselves.

• For outdoor weddings: do you have a covered option for rain? Are umbrellas available?
• Create a list of emergency contacts, from vendors to important guests.
• Allow a buffer in your schedule for unexpected delays. Plan ample time!

8. The importance of self-care

Wedding planning can be stressful, so don't forget to take good care of yourself. Plan time for relaxation, such as a weekend getaway or a quiet evening with your partner. I have previously written a blog post about which beauty treatments you can do as a bride. But also definitely think about your future partner! He also needs a haircut and could use a relaxing massage or facial. That's why I sent Bryan to a beautician the day before our wedding.

Also, dare to ask for help! Think about favors or decorating the venue. There will always be people who want to help with this or even have ideas.

• Allow yourself to say 'no' to extras that aren't important.
• Take a break from Pinterest and wedding apps if it all gets too much.
• Don't forget to enjoy the process! It's your moment.
• Try not to have too much to do the week before your wedding. Make sure that week is only for dotting the i's and crossing the t's and for getting yourself beautiful and relaxing.

9. The big day: trust your team, family, and friends

The big day has arrived! This is the time to enjoy your work, not to manage it all yourself. Make sure your itinerary is with the right people, so you can relax and enjoy the moment. Also, don't forget that you are getting married together — enjoy each other and definitely don't lose sight of each other. It's your day!

• Ask a friend or family member to act as master of ceremonies. This often makes it more personal.
• Give everyone clear instructions for the day, so you don't have to worry about last-minute changes.
• Enjoy your day! Small things can go wrong, but remember that you have the love of your life by your side — and that's what truly matters.

Conclusion

Planning your own wedding can be a wonderful experience, but it requires time, organization, and patience. If you follow the tips above and allow yourself to enjoy the process, you will undoubtedly have a wonderful wedding. So roll up your sleeves, take control, and create a day that perfectly suits you and your partner!

Good luck, and most importantly… have fun planning! 💍✨